Why Quatre Goes Grocery Shopping Alone
by Morpha
Summary: The main reason Quatre goes grocery shopping alone..sugar high Duo..insanity..waht can I say?


Mesa back! Like usual. Ah yes. My disclaimer. I do not own Gundam,Crazy  
bus,nor Heinens,nor any other food product. Mashers are mine! MINE I   
SAY!*grins* And Wufei wears breifs. HEHEHEH!!!!! Hm. That was very   
pointless.Ja!   
  
Why Quatre Goes Grocery Shopping Alone   
By Morpha (insane girl)  
  
Quatre gave out a long sigh. He had just finished cleaning the kitchen  
sink. And boy was he famished! Very famished. Ever so famished. Okay.  
I'll stop using the word famished now. Quatre, being famish--er i mean  
hungry, went over to the refrigarator. He opened the door thinking of  
what he might want to eat. He looked inside the frig. It was completely  
empty. Even the brussel sprouts were gone! Quatre stormed into the  
living room were everyone was sitting. Trowa was playing chess with  
Wufei, while Heero was napping and Duo was playing Majora's mask. Duo,  
was now yelling some very bad things at the tv. It seemed that the   
Happy Mask Salesman wasn't so happy any more and was choking him.   
Quatre looked at his floor. It was littered with plates and food crumbs.   
  
Quatre: All the food is gone.  
  
Duo: Yeah. We know. We decided to have a little snack.   
  
Quatre: Eating everything in the refirgartor is not a snack!  
  
Duo: We didn't eat the brussel sprouts.  
  
Trowa: Correction. I did. I thought it was lettuce and ate it.  
  
Quatre: You know what that means!?  
  
Wufei: That you must go grocery shopping.  
  
Quatre: YES! I just went yesterday!  
  
Duo: I'll go with you.  
  
Quatre was silent.  
To silent.  
Okay he was abnormally silent.  
  
Duo: WHAT!?  
  
Quatre: No.  
  
Trowa: I'll go then!  
  
Quatre: No.*Heero begins to wake up*  
  
Wufei: I'll go then.  
  
Quatre: *thinks* No.  
  
Heero: *grunts* I'll go then. Since I'm the perfect soldier.  
  
Quatre: No.  
  
Trowa: WHy can't I?  
  
Wufei: What do you have against me?  
  
Duo: Its not like I'm going to blow up everything!  
  
Heero: What did you say to me?  
  
Quatre: Look. I have nothing against you guys but... well... remember  
when we fought at breakfast that one time. And also at lunch.  
  
Heero: So?  
  
Quatre: SO! So you guys might start fighting again! Besides. Food costs  
a lot of money and I plan to buy food that isn't all sugar.  
  
Duo: I wanna go!!!!  
  
Quatre: No.  
  
Heero: *glares* Were going with you!  
  
Quatre: Why would you want to come anyways?  
  
Trowa: Because we owe it to you.  
  
Quatre: Well. I guess.*turns to Trowa and Duo* But I WILL NOT LISTEN   
TO CRAZY BUS!In the car.  
  
Duo and Trowa: *singing* Crazy bus, crazy bus, Riding on the crazy bus,  
Riding up,riding down, Driven by a funny clown! Wacky,goony,goofy,  
spoony, High as plan or ba-loony, Crazy bus, come with us! As we ride,  
ride,ride,ride,ride. Its a crazy bus not a schmazy bus! Don't make a   
fuss, just come with us. Slappy,sloopy,gloopy,happy-hoopy,hoopy-happy,  
dopey,doffy,screwy,blue-y,gooey,chewy,fooey,dewy! Absolutley  
bus-a-looey,crazy,lazy,crazy,crazy bus! A flat tire is no problem   
*Wufei chips in* Because its flat on the bottom! A flat tire is no   
problem, because its flat on the bottom! So let's go! Let's go!   
Let's GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
Quatre: *eye twitching* STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPP ITTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!  
!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Heero: Now. *points gun at them*  
  
Wufei,Trowa and Duo stop.  
  
Trowa: But it was just getting to the good part!!!!!  
  
Quatre: I SAID NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
Quatre parked next to a red bug and got out with the others.   
  
Quatre: I'm telling you now... so listen... only get what we are going   
to need AND that means not just raw cookie dough.  
  
Duo: But...  
  
Quatre: No. Last time I sent you here thats all you brought back.   
I would like food. Not sugar.  
  
Duo: Fine.  
  
They all walked in the grocery stor Heinens. Quatre grabbed a shopping   
cart and motioned for Heero to grab one.  
  
Quatre: I don't feel like going tomorrow so will get extra food this   
time.  
  
Heero nodded and took a grocery cart. Duo looked around.   
  
Duo: Isn't this store for old people???  
  
Quatre: No. Thats just a stereotype.  
  
Trowa: I want a stereo!  
  
Heero: *sweatdrop* He's not talking about stereo's.  
  
Trowa: Oh. Well.. I still do!  
  
They all sigh and walk over to the produce. Trowa picks up several   
apples and starts to juggle with them.   
  
Quatre: Don't do that! Put that down please.  
  
Trowa: There just apples.  
  
Duo: Yeah. Who'd want to eat them?  
  
Quatre: Normal people.  
  
Duo: And your normal?  
  
Quatre: Compared to you yes.  
  
Heero: *bites an apple*  
  
Quatre: Um. Heero. We need to pay for that.  
  
Duo: Haven't you ever been to a grocery store?  
  
Heero: No. *bites the apple again* I had to blow one up.  
  
All: *sweatdrop*  
  
Wufei: *eyes get huge* E-e-eggs!!!!!!!!  
  
Trowa: Grapefruits!!!!!  
  
Duo: SUUUUUGARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Heero: *points to the Your-to-cheap-to-buy-your-kid-good-sturdy-toys aisle*   
Guns! (Alas...he hasn't noticed the guns are toys)  
  
Quatre: .....*watches everyone martch to their aisles of beloved food/toys*  
Oh no.  
  
Lady who is loading up the toy aisle which will be known as Bob: Hi. I am Bob.  
Can I help you sir??  
  
Heero: But your a woman..why is your name Bob?  
  
Bob: *points to Morpha* The author decided to name me Bob after eating sugar.  
  
Heero: Oh. I would like to post this genuine pp7.  
  
Bob: You mean plastic.  
  
Heero: Hell no. Why would anyone sell plastic guns?  
  
Bob: So kids can play with them.  
  
Heero: Kids shouldn't play with toy guns..it makes them not get the feel of a  
real weapon.  
  
Bob: ...But guns are dangerous....  
  
Heero: Dangerous my foot!!!! I had a real gun when I was 4!  
  
Bob: ......*looks at him funny*  
  
Heero: What?!!  
  
Bob: Did you ever think of getting help?  
  
Heero: *points his soviet KA40 at Bob* Omae o korosu.  
  
Bob: AHHHHHHH!!!! *runs away*  
  
Heero: *Creepy smile*  
  
Meanwhile....  
  
Wufei: MY ARMY OF EGGS!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHHAH!!!!!!!!  
  
Eggs: We shall obey you honorable master!  
  
Wufei: BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I WILL KILL TROWA'S ARMY!  
  
Random old lady: o.O   
  
Wufei: *to lady* Whats a matter you weakling onna!? Haven't you  
ever seen an army of eggs????  
  
Old lady: N-n-noo! *walks away with her milk* Uh someone!! This young  
man is crazy!!!!  
  
Wufei: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Eggs: JUSTICE SHALL BE SERVED!  
  
Wufie: *pauses in his evil laughter* Wait a sec... when did eggs  
learn to talk?  
  
In the produce aisle...  
  
Trowa: OH MY GAWD!!!! LOOK AT ALL THESE PET GRAPEFRUIT!!!  
  
Grapefruit: ....  
  
Trowa: *picks up several and hugs them* I'm gonna take you all home  
with me and take care of you and name after my first graefruit pet..  
FLUFFY!  
  
Grapefruit: ...... *sweatdrop*  
  
In the sugar aisle....  
  
Duo: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! *bounces  
off aisle shelves*  
  
A few screams come from the confection aisle as Duo bounces off the  
walls. He has consumed a little too much sugar. While a show-down between  
trowa and Wufei is taking place in the produce aisle. Heero is now   
handing out real guns to children. What about the sweet,innocent,adorable,  
kawaii, Quatre???   
  
Quatre: ...... *listens to screams and cries from the different aisles*  
  
As Quatre began to bend down to look at the cereal,Moprha (oh yes! The insane  
one who wrote this) comes around the corner. She has her shopping cart full  
of sugar (not unusal for her) and is singing White Reflection. Quatre,not  
noticing her, continues looking at the asorted cereal. but Morpha DOES  
notice him.  
  
Morpha: Q-KUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Quatre: *turns to face her* Er... uh..oh hi.. Morpha.  
  
Morpha: *glomps him* You miss me???  
  
Quatre: Of course!!!! (Smart move)  
  
Morpha: Good.  
  
Duo comes flying into the aisle throwing asorted sugar. Wufei and Trowa  
are now attacking each other and Heero watching the kids play with the guns.  
Wufei throws an egg at Trowa,who ducks, therefore hitting Morpha.  
  
Morpha: &(*_@&@&*%#($_++++====#*)&@)#&$)^@)&@_&3*@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1  
  
Wufei: Oops. I hit the author.  
  
Morpha: *snaps her fingers making millions of old ladies attack him*  
  
Old women team: *start to smack Wufei with their purses*   
  
Wufei: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Duo: WHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Trowa: .......*sweatdrop*  
  
Heero: *shoots Bob*  
  
Bob: *dies*  
  
Quatre: THATS IT WERE GOING BEFORE WE MAKE ANY MORE DAMAGE!!! Bye Morpha.   
*pays for the food and drags the four out*  
  
In the car.....  
  
Troa,Duo and Wufei: Crazy bus! Crazy bus! Were riding on a crazy bus! Blah  
blah blah blah blah....  
  
Quatre: *vein*  
  
Heero: *shoots random grapefruit*  
  
Trowa: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *cries*  
  
Wufei: *sings with the eggs*  
  
Quatre: *insane weasel laugh*  
  
The other four become silent. seeing that Quatre is now laughing insanley  
and cutting in front of old people's car means that they might not just make   
it out alive. They are silent..for five seconds! Then the commtion begins  
again.  
  
The End  
  
Quatre: *flapping his arms in protest* NOW DO YOU SEE WHY I SHOP ALONE!!??  
  
Morpha: Yeps.  
  
  



End file.
